I go through these phases of absolute numbing annoyance with Twitter often. This most recent one compounded by the need to focus on current Eternal work. So I’ve been decently off the X app… which means in practice: checking a couple times a day but not tweeting.
When I sat with this feeling more this weekend, I really really really wanted to know what it was rooted in. Without some pressure to rationalize my feelings towards some moral superiority, but to allow the reality of unhealthy feelings to reveal themselves.
The Reflection
Comparison is the thief of joy. I have to constantly remind myself of this, like a “Fear is the mind killer…” Bene Gesserit litany.
There seems to be a reward for repeating the same exact point in 100 different ways + a style that used to stay on media Twitter that has definitely expanded, that can only be described as 2017 WashPo Tech Core.
I don’t always bias towards action. And I am too comfortable to simply duke it out over written wit to prove something… that clearly does not satisfy what I actually wish to achieve.
I think at the root root root of it… I simply find some people unworthy of the attention they receive. Which is doubly to say I feel a status competition where I’m not happy with my current result…
That’s really it. Nothing to be proud of with the 2nd piece of the evening… but there is something relieving. There is a sort of “trying to pick up quarters while the bank is burning” feeling to this whole meditation that is quite worthless.
An honest weak moment.
I don’t do edits really, so excuse typos and things that don’t make sense.
Thanks so much for giving me your attention. I hope it was worth it, if not… unsubscribing will not hurt my feelings, and will give you back time you literally cannot have back.
Much love.
Live in the light