Tending the Garden of my PsychoSpace

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Alternate Title: why consuming the same things over and over and over again is good, actually.

I have essentially been listening to this mini Yeezus playlist I made, exclusively. I think the best Kanye album is TLOP, as a work of incredible synthesis. But I think Yeezus is the artist’s album. Raw energy put to wax to spin forever. It’s the ~expresso~ that shot in the morning to feel yourself again.

I think there’s a crop of us trying to be the expresso,,, reaching for the pure distillation of self-knowing -> conscious production…

I don’t think it’s a mystery, if you follow my Twitter (or God forbid you’re an actual friend), how much Kanye content I’ve been consuming for the past month and a half. It’s giving me life, energy, inspiration, direction.

Not in a — imma do the exact same movements — type of beat. But in a reminder of myself, and what I’ve been trying to do from the beginning.

You have to find the inputs that unlock more of yourself.

I have a lot of smart friends. And I mean a lot… like brag worthy… like I don’t have to do due diligence, believe and throw cash worthy.

One insecurity I had to get over, was the difference in how we processed and consumed the world around us. I’m well read, but they can be encyclopedias of references.

At a certain point, I’m not sure when. I simply realized, that’s how they have to tend to their garden. And perhaps my flowers needed something else to grow. A different light. A different watering cycle. (let us also never forget that we are heliotropic beings,,, do not deny yourselves the necessary light for growth)

This recognition was the most freeing thing to happen to me this past year and half. Comparison is the thief of joy. And in trying to nurture your own mind, you can’t let the parasite of comparison in… you will eat your potential alive.

This is one of my favorite Evan Cohen illustrations. And it perfectly captures what it’s like to tend to this garden.

I hated picking weeds in my Mom’s garden when I was growing up… I never understood how there wasn’t a better system. Tending to the garden can feel silly, repetitive, you can feel it in your muscles. Why am I coming back to this video, what did I miss, what else can I grab… sometimes it’s just about it soaking deeper and deeper into the soil.

Yes, I do have to keep listening to Blonde actually. Yes it is the best album of all time actually… yes I still cry when Seigfried comes on actually.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that The Social Network has become one of the references for rewatchable movies.

I can’t stress how important I believe inputs are. Your psychospace is the root of all action, feeling, expresso potential…

It can come in weird forms… the weirdest one for me is reading my own twitter profile in the morning. Like re-ingesting who I am, filling my body with a reminder so I can continue accordingly.

There’s something to releasing yourself in the form of media, and cycling that back into yourself so you don’t lose it.

We are consumption and desire machines… in a world of abundance, there is a constant effort that must be put forth to break the mirage of schizophrenic choice.

You can’t introduce every seed and nutrient and constant light and never turning the hose off… it will only produce muddied streams…

Let flowers take the time to bloom, and when you want to shift the perfume that radiates from from the bed, the flowers you allowed to run their course will nurture the new seeds.

Be careful what you let into your garden,,, whom you let into your garden,,,

You are more impressionable than you think. You are part of a chain, but you can select what you’re linking to.

I don’t do edits really, so excuse typos and things that don’t make sense.

Thanks so much for giving me your attention. I hope it was worth it, if not… unsubscribing will not hurt my feelings, and will give you back time you literally cannot have back.

Much love.

Live in the light